??

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever fall in love again.  Of course this isn't the thing that's on my mind all the time, but I do wonder if it will ever happen.  I wonder where I would meet a single quality man too.  I live in a tiny town, hang around with married moms who have children my age, and work as a teacher with pretty much all females.  The thought is daunting.  Being on the outside, as a divorced person, can get me down sometimes.  Tonight is one of those nights.  We had a "big" family dinner and everyone there is married, except for me.  It's not a "ooh poor me" thing, it's a "I wish I had someone to go home with too."  I miss being a "we", I miss the talking, the connection only shared between me and another person.  I can honestly say that I didn't have that with my husband, although I tried.  Being in a lonely marriage full of lies is worse than being alone.  I just hope I'm destined not to be single for the next 50 years.  I do have a plan in case of that though.  WHen my kids are grown, I'll retire from teaching and work for a cruise line or something traveling the world.  After all, what's an old spinster to do? I guess I'm just bummed tonight.  It's weird being the only unmarried person in my family and circle of friends.